Mau UrrutiaAnd whether we know any drama king or queen! Everything beats them! Everything goes wrong for them! Now then… What’s behind these emotional reactions? What could be going wrong?
Drama kings and queens seem to go from crisis to crisis, from catastrophe to disgrace, and then to total disaster without much knowledge of why. Their emotional reactions are often disproportionate, and they have the knack of making everyone else pay attention to their daily sadness and misfortunes.
Their lives are like a theatre in which incidents, unexpected twists of fate and bizarre situations are constantly happening, a permanent vaudeville. “Everything happens to me”, “Life is against me!
Are people simply unlucky? Or is there some underlying problem that should be considered?
They are basically characterised by maximising small problems, overstretching them and needing our support at every turn. Whether they want to or not, they become the centre of attention and are exhausting.
There will be people who show more exaggerated behaviour and others who make drama a one-off or occasional event.
The problem lies in a tendency to over-emotionality, that is, they mismanage their emotions and maximise their emotions by polarising them to extremes, such as panic, anguish, despair…
They do this involuntarily, i.e. they do not seek to attract attention, even if they do, and sometimes there may be a biological basis behind it. Trauma or emotional immaturity are the most frequent causes.
A characteristic feature of this type of person is the highs and lows. As a rule, they are charismatic people, with social skills to make friends, to connect with each other because of this natural intensity in everything they do, but at the same time they are defined by an emotional instability, a bit bipolar: today I am in full swing, motivated, full of energy and, shortly after, they need a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to their sadness, to the negative and desperate things that have happened to them.
You are probably already imagining that, many times, we find a covert depression, characteristic of the difficulty to manage small day-to-day difficulties, and of these fluctuations in mood, to which are added problems with sleep, food, etc.
Sometimes the answer lies in childhood. There are studies that indicate that a person can reach these extremes due to factors such as abuse, physical punishment, abandonment or emotional neglect, which can lead to the development of this type of disorder .
However, there is a particular tribe of drama kings and queens who are more problematic: those with histrionic personality disorder: some make drama their way of life, and they are easily identifiable because they:
- They express their emotions in a theatrical and exaggerated way.
- They show very abrupt mood swings.
- They are easily influenced by other people.
- They need to be the centre of attention.
- They tend to be provocative, attracting through their behaviour, physical appearance, etc.
- They take liberties with others, even making those around them uncomfortable.
- They hardly take responsibility for problems.
- They tend to be very, very immature.
We have to learn to rationalise instead of reacting instantly to anything that happens to us, to catch our breath, to stop and reflect, not to let ourselves be dragged or hijacked by emotions: we go through a filter of analysis to understand what has happened, why it has happened and what we should do. We have to understand what I feel, what the emotion is telling me and how to control it and what kind of reaction I should apply to feel better.
And if there is a hidden depression underneath, it is necessary to seek help.
📎 Urrutia, M. [Maurici]. (2024, 05 October). Drama king, drama queen. PsicoPop. https://www.psicopop.top/en/drama-king-drama-queen/
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